Month by Month by Mummy

Part 1: Everybody has an opinion

It's been a while. I'm sorry!

There's been so much on my mind and so much social commentary to be made, that I've actually had to take a step back and reevaluate how to put all my thoughts into blog format. But all that will be in another blog post. For now I want to celebrate.

My cub is officially 6 months old as I write this. Wow! I didn't expect this journey to be so overwhelming. Half the year has flown by and I've witnessed my cub transform right before my eyes. I could cry - wait I actually am crying - because I am bursting with the love I have for this little lion of mine. In honour of my baby's 6 months on earth, I will be releasing 6 post that tell the truth about my experience of motherhood. I'm calling this series: Month by month by mummy.

WARNING: this will be a bit of a long one, so grab a cup of tea!

I remember the distinct feeling of euphoria and overwhelming achievement as soon as my cub was born. I never knew I had the strength it would take to actually push out another human being into the world (with only gas and air mind you!). That's the feeling I remind myself of whenever I'm struggling as a mother, or when I’m caught up in my own head, or whenever some well meaning know-it-all offers unsolicited advice that I inevitably take as criticism of my mothering.

Be they family members, friends or society at large; it seems everyone has an opinion about parenting and they’re not shy of letting you know that their opinion is THE only right opinion (insert side eye).

Having a baby has taught me so many things, and has given me confidence to assert who I am and what I believe. If I can give birth with no medical intervention, I can surely muster up the courage to tell that annoying relative to kindly piss off, and take their opinions with them!

It's like I became pregnant and suddenly my body and my life became public property. “Don’t eat this, do this exercise, make sure you read this book” etc. It's all well intended of course, but it doesn't stop you feeling like your own body is being policed. I had to play the "smile and nod" game, and tell myself that it will be over soon.

And then my precious cub came along and you would think that everyone had given birth with me! “Hold him this way, give him this to drink, stop breastfeeding, clothe him with this, put this on his skin”; meanwhile I am the one who has pushed this precious bundle out into the world!

All these people mean well, and their opinions/ advice were sometimes very useful; but I've now learnt that it's important to take it all with a pinch of salt and not to take it to heart (as difficult as it may be with those postpartum hormones running around!).

Even those who are parents will almost definitely have a different experience to your own, because every single child is an individual with individual needs.

What I often have to remind the parenting police (and myself!) is that I would never intentionally make a decision that would put my children in danger, I will always make what I believe to be the best decision for them. I have been wrong in refusing some advice and I'm ok with admitting to those mistakes. However, I am happy that I made a decision and stuck to it because as a new mama it's important that I’m confident in trusting my parenting instincts.

The bottom line is nobody will ever know your child the way you know them, because they are your child. I truly believe that God places a child under the care of specific parents for a reason. So parent your child the way you see fit, smile politely at the child rearing police, and proceed to live a love fuelled life!

I know there are a lot of new mummies on my timeline, I hope that this post encourages you to trust your mummy instincts, and to take all those inevitable opinions with a deep breath, and healthy consideration.

As always, discuss and share your own experiences!