Month by month by mummy: Part 2

Sleep is for the weak

Can we talk about sleep deprivation? Can I go on a little rant about being a sleep deprived new mama? I still love my cub, I promise; but sleep deprivation is a real thing so here we go!

You know when people say: “I’m going to sleep like a baby tonight”, I’m here to tell you that babies in fact DO NOT sleep, neither do new mothers; however fathers and husbands sleep ever so peacefully. So the next time you want to quantify your sleep, compare it to that of a new father! (I joke. Or do I?)

By the time I realised that I hadn’t slept for 4 days, I had too much going on in my mind to even manage that thought. After being in labour for 3 days, and spending the first night with my cub painfully learning to breastfeed; I was delirious with exhaustion.

A friend tried to warn me while I was pregnant: “you'll be so tired that exhausted becomes your new tired and tired is your new normal” that's what she said. And I laughed. I naively laughed thinking it can't really be that bad. Oh how naive I was.

Listen, nothing can prepare you for the actual reality of LACK OF SLEEP. The reality of living a 24 hour life. The reality that there's another human being who’s entire existence relies on you staying awake and alert at some god forsaken hour. That reality can really mess with your head! Not to mention the hormone induced mood swings that had me practically pulling out my hair when I wasn't crying or hungry (or crying because I’m hungry).

Now I’m a breastfeeding mama, so that means I have the pleasure of watching my wonderful hubby snoring away for the both of us, wondering how in the world he manages not to hear our screaming child. And how he stays asleep despite me kicking him, because sleep envy can make you do unthinkable things!

The advice I received almost daily was to sleep when baby sleeps. But how? The only time I have to do anything is when he’s asleep. And even when there’s nothing to do, I just find myself staring at my precious cub sleep in disbelief and overwhelming emotion. Until he stirs and wakes up, then I’m kicking myself for not taking advantage of those precious few minutes! It’s a vicious cycle!

My advice to all new mummies: take any and every help that is offered to you because you really will need it.

No sooner had I adjusted to the 3am feedings, then he suddenly decides he doesn’t want them anymore; so now I’m awake at ridiculous am for no reason at all. But you know what? I wouldn’t change it for all the sleep in the world, because I love being a mama Lion that much!